Learning how to say no

I’ve always known that I have a really hard time saying no to things I couldn’t, or simply didn’t want to, do. But it wasn’t until the couple of weeks leading up to New York that I realized how detrimental of a flaw this was. With a full load of credits, a part-time job, ad team, other extra curricular activities, and trying to maintain a social life, there was hardly room for anything else. Yet, when given the opportunity to take on yet another project, I said yes. Don’t get me wrong, I was excited and didn’t want to miss out on this opportunity, but realistically, I didn’t have the time or mental capacity to give this project my all. As a result, I ended up becoming consumed by it, leaving me with nowhere near enough time to prepare for the trip in the ways I needed to. I didn’t spend time with my friends for a couple of weeks, and I wasn’t eating or sleeping properly. It wasn’t until I was finally past my breaking point where I realized, “Damn, I really can’t do this.” It took a lot out of me to admit that I couldn’t follow through on what I had originally set out to do, and it also hurt my pride to know that I dropped the ball on something pretty monumental. I had always looked at saying no to things as being a character flaw, as though the person wasn’t motivated enough or didn’t care enough to say yes. But this past week, while on a visit to 72andSunny I asked, “How do you all keep from getting burnt out?” Saeid Vahidi, Senior Strategist at 72, answered, “By saying no.” I literally laughed when he said that because I thought, “No, not this again!” But what he had to say to follow was eye opening. At the end of the day, we’re all human. We have families, we have passions, and we have needs. Our mental health requires attention, our friendships and relationships deserve attention, and our side gigs are what makes us who we are. Being able to say no isn’t a weakness at all — it’s a tremendous strength.

Maile Sur | 5.15.19