Trust Your Gut - A Story From Bryant Park

Throughout the trip I had many waves of doubt about ad agency life. I listened to my gut at the end of an agency visit that it wasn’t where I was meant to be. This happened twice, (my next post will be on the second experience.) However, Tuesday’s was different. I took a wrong exit on my way back from Brooklyn and it lead to my unexpected first time at Bryant Park. A gorgeous surprise! I then made my way to this bar I found in the middle of the park. Which leads to my story of one of the wildest moments of fate I’ve experienced in my life..

It was 5 PM and the bar was absurdly packed. It didn’t stop me, I asked to be sat alone. “Sure,” said the hostess. “As long as you don’t mind sitting with someone else! She’s super nice.” Nice was an understatement. The woman I sat with ended up chatting with me for over 2 hours. Turns out, she’s a director at a female-run production agency in NYC who’s worked with my all time favorite artist (David Byrne from Talking Heads!) This agency works on creative PR pieces for artists. Fully! What! I want! To do! (My other aspiration is making music documentaries.. but I’ve been fully aware that it’s not always a full-time / decently profited career.)

This woman and I talked about literally everything. I think she may have seen something in me because within the unexpected 2 hours we drank together we nearly told our entire life stories. Within the SOJC notebook Deb gave me, I wrote her words in 6 full pages. These pages contain absolutely invaluable industry and life advice, perfectly curated jokes, and contact info for creatives she knows in the documentary and music industry! AND..Among those contacts..is her ex-fiancé who’s an executive documentary producer at HBO!

These are the best pieces of advice this absolutely magical woman gave me:

1. “Write a list of every single thing you have to do. Everything. Start each sentence with ‘I need to.’ After that list is done, cross out every single ‘I need to’ with ‘I choose to.’ You’ll quickly see which choices you’re wasting time on and which are actual priorities..like eating and paying rent. You’d be shocked at how much time you’re wasting. You’re more in control than you think.”

2. “Take the time you take for yourself as seriously as you take for other people. If you schedule self-care time, don’t be late. If you’re in therapy, don’t miss your appointments. Don’t be on your phone. Don’t give your attention elsewhere. Your time matters and without loving yourself enough to help others you’re useless in a room.”

3. “Don’t ever settle. Your career life is extremely long, and you’re going to get screwed over by a lot of men in this industry. Don’t ever let that happen. It’s better to take up bartending to pay rent and pursue your passions as a freelancer than work for a company who’s exploiting you and will immediately move on once you quit. You are worth so much more than you think. Don’t ever settle for less.”

After this unexpected whirlwind of gaining a new friend and contact at a production agency (which weirdly seems exactly like what I want?) along with an emotional rollercoaster of advice.. I realized I made the right decision by not sticking around after the meeting to network at an agency I wasn’t feeling. Some way, somehow, fate had another plan for me to meet Lindsay. I am a FIRM believer of sticking with your gut instinct. If you take a wrong exit, you just might meet the person who can change your life :)

-Cassandra Tollett